did it?

But then

thespaces between thosewords

didn’t matter,

the punct.uat!ons didn’t stop the words from flowing out

so loud

that the ink itself was so scared

of the dark breaks

and those hollow comas.

the question marks didn’t let the questions to stop

and the full stops were never meant to be answered

The scribbled stories inside the unpredictable gaps,

and

the dull l e t t e r s could express ,

the fear

of talking too loud.

amidst of the cracked words

the scared love could be found.

but

at the end

it didn’t matter.

-the crumbled pieces  under those torned pages.

 

 

 

-nidhi.

I haven’t told this to anyone before but I’m going to tell you now,

This world is killing me,

It’s like  suffocating inside a small box that shrinks every single day

I can’t exhale my frustration

As there is nothing  inside the box to inhale

The ropes of complications entangles with my neck

Making the knots which don’t hurt much

As before I can feel the pain,

Another swirl of the rope stucks .

Giving their best shot to kill me

Increasing my hunger to be free.

 

 

This world is making me feel like a depressed kid.

I feel like I’m left alone on the first day of school

Where are you dad?

These people are monsters covering there faces with those superhero  masks,

You brought  me when I demanded to be powerful.

These superheros are using there powers against me,

Judging me, binding me

They want  me to be the doll they can play with

I need you mom.

 

 

This world lifts me up

In the showers of care and concern

And when I try to open up

About my pain,

About those miseries burried inside my heart

They dig it more

And more

Till the pieces tear apart.

I know I sound like a depressed kid,

But you could be the only one to listen to me

This  world is killing me.

And I give up

I’ll miss you mom.

Don’t worry dad

I’ll be shinig bright

In The place just upright

Free from all these barriers.

Free from the pain.

Love,

your star.

 

~nidhi.

 

it all started with high..

It was more than just a triumph,
when the burning hearts outshined the flaming candles,
there was a a sheen all over,
more shimmering than the stars
the intensity of the lanterns matched the smiling eyes &
the flickering echo of laughing hearts.

These memories conquer my mind,like illusions on a broken portrait
And then I look around,
trembling
Trying to control the quaking heart
Wishing to find an unreal something,
And I fail; yet again; one more part of my soul relinquishes its life.
With blurry eyes,I gaze the round figure
The embedded crystal

Absorbing the ache,
Reflecting the charm
Tied in its acute, geometric cuts, reflecting facets
Rescue me from the unpleasant flux,
Just to blow harder.

And then, the white satin dress seizes my attention,
Its every crease,
Every overlap sings a different theme
each fold of the frill
plays a delightful labyrinth.

All these precious possessions are nothing,
When you come in my view.
Your eyes,
Sparkling with the essence of assurance,
Tells me something
Increasing my curiosity to ask you a million things.
With another heartache,
I realise
Pictures don’t speak.

Void of your absence is again filled by infinite memories
and the lingering hope of how can it end anyway
when it all started with a high,
Eternal love.

~nidhi

Birthday Week

 

BIRTHDAY WEEK

Ch.1

I’ve been always a pampered teen who used to count days a month before her birthday. The level of excitement grew each year.thirteenth.. fourteenth.. and more excitement for gifts. From chocolate boxes to big fat teddy bears to smartphones. Its been a really long journey ugh!

As I now proceed to my last teen, the thirst for pretty unreal things no longer exist.Trust me,I modified my title to “bold” just for a peppy pomp.As I now realize, those frills were colorfull instruments made to emancipate the dear heart and balloons to overjoy the nerves. Light enough to symbolize the undarkened soul

intensely fatal, for the joy was temporary.

This period proved to be a phase of magnificent transformation. Accepting things the way they are and facing the non-artificial world was never easy.

All these years, many people kissed goodbyes and many were earned,though the earnings never replaced the goodbye’s and never will. I learned to cherish sunrises that comes as incredibly amazing mates and to bow down for the sunsets as with every phase I know a little more of myself. I no more fear the dusk or the nightfalls.

I now, as a grown up “she” is strong enough to detangle the complications with my graceful hands in the most beautiful way you can ever imagine and can acquire the realities just like any other girl in the walkway!…

 

 

how to break her!

Embrace her

With thread like promises

One Overlapping the other.

 

Tight enough to bring her soul the essence of life,

Proceed to fill Every bit and chunk With myriad colors,

Colors of hope!

 

Carefully rejecting the crevices

Braid emotions in an Exquisite faishon.

 

Just after the slightest of detail dances In sparkles of expectations,

 

Leave.

‘paroxysm’

“Rs 250,Ma’am”.

I woke up as the cab driver murmured something.

“Sorry?”, I asked.

We’re here ma’am!

It was deathly quiet  moment  as I laid my eyes on the red bricked hut shaped building. The silence broke with the horn of the vehicles  and I said thankyou as I left the cab.

‘I’M BACK HOME’ the inner me shouted with my feet approaching  the door. I got a little disturbed as I walked in , there was nobody to welcome me except a gold ceremic vase  which used to be at the side table near the showcase. But now, there was nothing except a walnut coloured centre table which too was occupied by some unfamilier stuff.  The fireplace was replaced by a bundle of old newspapers and   some greyish stuff replaced the red satin curtains.

The huge wall painting was replaced by a potrait. I shivered  a little as I walk closer to the still silent face.

For a moment , I felt  like I can’t even breathe properly as every fond memory flashed in my mind like a sequence of pictures  running apace.

“only if you were here, mom”. I said, with tears in my eyes and locked the door of that beautiful red bricked house ,

again.

-Nidhi

MALAISE

and when I sit here

alone,

the dim light

reminds me of my gloomy life,

the silence shouts my grief.

these blank walls reminds me of the moment,

when I wanted so much,

but I was freezed.

I wanted to break those confines

and feel those satin hands,

in spite of seeing the pressed pins

I wanted to rift all bans.

I wanted to look those lips

which always smiled seeing me back home,

but,

but that mask left me like a stone.

I wanted to hug you so tight

and tell you how much I love you,

I wanted to adore those eyes

and see the world through.

the inner me wanted all of this

but you know what?

I was freezed,

mom.